life list, cont.

Feb 26, 2009 at 6:30 AM
11 comments

A few posts back I revisited my life's list of things I want to do before I die and recounted the many things my husband has helped me accomplish on that list. There has been a disturbing trend in the things I/we have accomplished as of late, in that the things I want to do appear to be cursed. Firstly, I had been trying to see The Roots in concert for years...and then when we went to see them, the show super sucked and we almost died on the highway on the way home - and I mean, very seriously almost died in a close call that both Steve & I recognize as the closest to death either of us has ever been. Second, we camped at Pololu Valley on the Big Island, on a night with 40-60 mph winds and driving rain, with flash flood and rock slide warnings posted everywhere. Thirdly, I visited City Lights bookstore last night to procure anything by Angela Davis, and discovered that I don't really care for her work, at least not any of the titles they had in stock...

So, I have now started to read Walden and am hoping this will not disappoint, I'm fairly certain it won't....but WTF is going on? Do you think I should start a new list? Is my old one cursed? Or do you think forcing these events is somehow creating an unreasonable expectation of a positive outcome and I should just let these things happen naturally? I suppose my only concern there is that I won't actually accomplish anything, if I don't have a clear picture in my mind of what I really want to do...but any thoughts on this topic would be much appreciated.

The photo is from our visit to Egypt, the only thing we have done from the list that worked out perfectly.

11 comments

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life list

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When you put the list up last time, how old were some of the items on it? Was it years in the making? It's possible that you have aged and matured beyond what you once thought interesting, and you are finding these things frivolous, or, at best, yawn-inducing. I wouldn't give up on the list, but I think it's perfectly normal to find that not everything is as awesome as you thought it would be.

PS - Glad to see you posting at all. And since you haven't really been around for me to tell you--congrats on getting married and moving back to Hawaii and paying off your student loans! I myself am engaged and starting grad school and am totally freaking out about life in general. Good times.

OMG - Sara!!! Thank you and CONGRATULATIONS to you, too!!! How exciting! I am going to try to be around here more often and I will catch up with your blog today.

Yes, the list is an amalgam of several years list's, but it is very old...and you may be on to something. Thanks for the note! Good to hear from you!

xoxo

For barf-inducing happiness, check the proposal blog after Christmas Eve. That should make you happy/give you an ulcer.

'Member oh so long ago when we wroted actual letters to each other and you made me a postcard magnet? Well, now that I have a house, it is actually on my fridge like two years later.

I was thinking about my Pulitzer reading quest in relation to your life list. I am currently behind on my reading, but I was utterly dismayed the first time I came across a book that I didn't enjoy. I was like, WTF, it's an award winner, what's wrong with me?! Turns out, some things hold up, others don't, and art is totally subjective. Keep on truckin', honey. You'll be fine.

Change the game. Two lists. One of 50 things you want to do before you croak. One of 50 things you already did that were amazing. You are in the middle. And things don't automatically move from the "want to" list to the "did" list. Face it, some of the things we dream about aren't all they're cracked up to be, and some of the things we love come out of left field. The beauty of this system: Right now, you have two lists with 50 things on each. When you're 100, you'll have two lists with 50 things on each. It would kind of suck to cross all 100 things off and have nothing left to look forward to...

It might not be that the old list is cursed, but that your thirst for life has changed. Nothing wrong with a little change a roonie. Hell, I dumped my whole, "Before 30" list and said fuck it.

Walden is one of my favorite books. I don't know why, I just, feel lost in it.

i'm not a list maker myself (your sister-in-law however is the queen of lists) and papi chulo sr. is a seasoned list maker...i'm a kind of fly-by-the-seat-of-my-panties kind of girl...i think of things that i would like to do, like change jobs about a bazillion times and move all over the country and then i guess i just jump in, eyes closed shut and hope for the best...was it always a wise move, no...regrets...many...lessons learned, oh yeah...but making new lists at pivotal times in life are sometimes necessary and it's always fun to look back and say "what the fuck was i thinking!!!" whatever your list is, make it fun..."life is too short to eat bad food!!!"

[this is good]

Life list is like fantasy list once you've done them they are not exciting anymore....(like the Pierces "Boring" hilarious sexy video clip, got it on my blog if you want to watch it ;)) but the beauty of it is that you cannot help making another one otherwise...you DIE because what is the purpose in life without wish list or fantasy list??!!! right now i am reading Middlesex. By Jeffrey Eugenides (kinda old/ 2002) & i really love it!

I think that your reaction to some of those things on your list not going the way that you wanted them to, or dreamed that they would is completely understandable. More than that I've had the same experience of attaching importance to experiences large and small and not having them pay off, and I feel like I understand your confusion, at least in my own way.

I think that my experience of this kind of disappointment or jarring reality has led me to feel that the disappointments are as important as the experiences that live up to expectations, and that the disappointments give me a reason to always be adding things to the list too.

Not very helpful I know, but I guess I'm trying to say that the up and down of life is what helps me relish the good stuff, and planning to try / do / achieve something to only find out that it's not "all that" is as valid and satisfying in a different way as something being totally awesome.

Also... As per Sara (above) cool to see you blogging more over the last few days :-)

Expect email soon - I am in the process of writing...

[this is good]

Miss Scotch,

I just came across your blog. Looks like you are safe if you believe things happen in 3's!!

You may want to check out www.mylifelist.org for a great new website that uses the power of social networking to help people achieve their goals!!

Would love it if you became a member and shared some of your Life List goals and stories!!

CREATE. ACT. CELEBRATE.™

Bill Starr

CEO, My Life List™

http://twitter.com/mylifelist

Foradancer replied to jrsygrl’s comment:
Feb 27, 2009
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Sis,

What's that line from Shirley Valentine...."Dreams--they're never where you expect them to be."

Or as my favorite songwriter sings:

Let the disappointments pass
Let the laughter fill your glass
Let your illusions last until they shatter
Whatever you might hope to find
Among the thoughts that crowd your mind
There won't be many that ever really matter

But I do make lists...not about my life, but because I forget shit.

Didi

Fantasies and dreams are never like reality no matter how much you try to change them and want them to be. We try so hard to feed that hunger... and we're always left hungry or back to square one. I don't believe you change but find a way to find the beauty in which you first loved whatever it is you love.

life list, cont.

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