QotD: What Was I Thinking?

Finish this sentence: "What in the world was I thinking when I...?"
Submitted by jammin15.

...moved to Italy on a whim.

Okay, not exactly on a whim, I took a couple weeks to buy a ticket, sell/give away everything I owned and procure a job. When I arrived in Bologna on a 1-way ticket - I walked off the plane and straight into (my new employer) Caterina's car. No Customs, no passport check, nada. Later, you will see how this contributed to my paranoia that I was about to be sold into slavery by a bizarre Italian yoga Hindu cult.

However, my first impression of my new employer was wonderful. She was a beautiful, funky and intelligent Italian woman in her mid-40's that gestured with her hands a lot and made everything sound important.  Her souped-up SUV betrayed her seemingly down-to-earth demeanor. Both she and her husband were independently wealthy yoga instructors, with a 5-yr-old son I was hired to teach English.

When I was shown to my quarters, my first thought was, "I am the luckiest person I know." The room was modest, clean and elegant. Hard wood floors, a gorgeous antique desk positioned by the window with paper & pen to write real letters, a huge closet and my own bathroom.

I was in heaven.

The following morning, I awoke with a fever, 2 ear aches and my throat was on fire. Unfortunately, this was also my first day of work. I went downstairs and greeted the family and the housekeeper Veronika. Veronika was from Slovakia - a beautiful blond girl my age with a penchant for pink cashmere sweaters and diamond stud earrings. She was instructed to make my breakfast, clean my room and do my laundry. I quickly realized Veronika was the house slave.

We became fast friends.

During the following weeks, the best situation ever quickly turned into the worst situation ever. I remained sick but tried desperately to teach the spoiled monster English. He pretended I was not there at best, threw sharp things at me and collapsed on the floor in screaming tantrums at worst. I learned that I was one of 3 English teachers he had had over the course of the year, the other ones quitting for mysterious and vague reasons. Mysterious, only until Caterina  began screaming at me, demanding that I constantly speak English to him, even if he was not engaging me. Therefore, I would spend hours - walking around his room saying; "this is a book" "these are scissors" "this is your pile of toys mommy will make the maid clean up for you" "this is my wasted youth" "Do you know what an existential crisis is?" "here are your crayons."

My situation was better than Veronika's - I was treated with some semblance of respect, whereas she wasn't even allowed to eat at the table with us. She cooked every meal, was the boy's full-time babysitter, did all the laundry (which included ironing the sheets, towels and every item of clothing for the entire household). She was even expected to wipe his ass. LITERALLY. It was her job to wipe his ass after a bowel movement. I refused to let her suffer and started helping her with the housework, babysitting the tyrant and doing laundry.

The absolute worst part of the situation was that the parent's worked from home most of the day and I quickly realized my real job was to keep their trophy child away from them. This was the biggest challenge because all he wanted was to be with them. Veronika & I had to constantly devise new and creative ways to distract him.

To make the situation even more bizarre, I learned that my employers were cult followers of this woman:

She had arranged their marriage and instructed them not to have sex outside of procreative purposes. Caterina confided to me that they had only had sex 3 times in the 10 yrs. they were married! (That was how long it took for her to get pregnant.) They didn't even have sex on their wedding night! Photos of this woman covered every wall of the house and all of the little boy's stuffed animals were made t-shirts with this woman's face on them.

All of this was happening during the last presidential election and I was determined not to live in a country that would re-elect George Bush. So I stayed waaay longer than I should have and the mistreatment only got worse. After awhile, I decided I would take 'W' over having to watch Veronika wipe the little monster's ass.  So I left. Veronika and I stayed in touch for a few months after that but without common experiences our transmissions grew fewer and fewer. I wonder where she is right now? Wherever it is, I just hope it is not with the Italian yoga Hindu cult people.